


The Avengers

by AnaNegitoro



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Domestic Avengers, F/M, Gay Bruce Banner, Gen, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), If the Avengers had a sitcom, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Tony Stark, Superfamily (Marvel), Thor is a lesbian icon, inspired by friends and how i met your mother
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 07:47:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17484062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnaNegitoro/pseuds/AnaNegitoro
Summary: Every day the six of them met to eat Shawarma together. They argued about futile things and often invaded Thor and Bruce's apartment or Tony's after eating. It was just like that every day, until Thor's brother came.OrThe Avengers sitcom fanfiction that nobody asked for.Inspired by Friends and How I Met Your Mother





	The Avengers

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I hope you enjoy this fanfic. I'll write always that I get inspired, even if I have the plans for the plot. So, I'm sorry if we end up with no new chapters for more then one month.  
> Just two things that I would like to say before you read this chapter:
> 
> -The fanfiction will focus on the original six and Loki. The guardians of the galaxy and other characters will often appear, but they may not be as relevant to the plot itself.  
> -I'm horrible at making jokes (mostly in English because I'm not totally fluent.) So if this have a really bad humor, it's my fault.

"That's what I'm saying, that girl, she was definetly a lesbian" Said Thor, eating his shawarma. "I know a lesbian when I see one."

"Yeah, that's cause you're a lesbian too." Tony said.

The six of them had met in college. Tony had called them to eat shawarma for the first time, and since then, it had become a tradition. Thor and Bruce share an apartment while Tony is their neighbor, living in the front apartment. Clint lives a few streets away, but not far. Steve lives in the front building. No one knew where Natasha lives, nor why she would not let them know where she lives, but they all knew that if she wanted to, she could kill them all just by asking about it.

''A very pretty lesbian, if I say so by myself.'' Bruce commented.

''Are you serious? Right in front of my shawarma?'' Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow. Thor's phone rang a little later.

"Oh, wait a minute" Thor said, picking his phone "Did you told him?" He asked, waiting the other person to answer."You WHAT?" Thor's face showed a little anger. "OF COURSE IM MAD AT YOU!! But I know that you are going to stab me with a knife so I'll stay quiet" Clint frowned."Uhhhh... I'm eating shawarma" "Sure, why not? Do not forget I love you.''

''Who were you talking to? Jason?'' Steve asked as he wiped himself with the napkin.

''Just wait and see.'' the blonde replied.

''And we'll have to wait a long time?'' Tony asked, eating. ''You know, It's almost time for you guys to invade my apartment.''

''Last time I checked, they didn't lived too far from here.'' Thor answered.

''But Thor, tell me, did you know that Laura was a lesbian?'' Clint asked. Laura was his fiancee. Thor nodded his head. ''But how? She never gave a hint that she was a lesbian.''

''The way she looked at Natasha.'' Steve intruded on the conversation.

''The fact that she kept her fingernails cut may indicate she was not satisfied with sex.'' Thor said. ''It's not a rule, but it happens.''

''Put in the list how uncomfortable she was with Clint.'' Stark said.

''The way she looked at any woman'' The red-haired one complemented.

''The comments she made to the women in the magazines.'' Bruce said.

''Okay okay I get it!'' The deaf spoke. ''Everyone noticed that she was lesbian but me! I'm dumb!''

''Aw, Clint. That doesn't means you're dumb. It just means that you're devoid of intelligence.'' The blonde said and Clint made a face of ''How dare you?!''

''You know'' Nat started. ''There are always the same people here. Of course, Scott, Hope, Sam and the others come here sometimes, but besides them and us, only Maria, Jonathan and that other guys come. I wish someone new came here.''

A young man entered the room. He had long black hair and wore black clothes. He seemed to be looking for someone. He had some bags in his hands. They had never seen him before.

''And I wish to have a million dollars!'' Clint shouted.

''Thor?'' The young man asked, walking to him.

''Loki! You owe me an explanation and a shawarma!'' The blonde said.

''Yeah, and you owe me my childhood.'' Loki answered. Thor stood up.

''Guys, this is Loki. My...'' He looked at Loki.

''Brother'' The black haired man answered.

''Loki, this is everyone. Tony, Steve, Nat, Clint, I know you remember Bruce.'' The older one said, pointing to his friends.

''Oh, of course I remember It's the guy you..'' The other quickly put his hand on his brother's mouth, preventing him from speaking.

''Wait, so it was Loki who used to prank everyone at college?'' Steve asked and Loki nodded his head.

''Loki recently... left home without letting our parents know. And again, why did you do it, Loki?''

''Because I did not know if our dear ''father'' would accept me.'' He said.

''They accept my lesbian friends.''

''But I am not a lesbian! What did you expected me to say to him? ''Hi dad I'm not always a man and I like not only girls but guys and non binary people too''??''

''Uuuh... Yes?'' The older brother raised an eyebrow. Loki took a knife from his pocket and pointed it at his brother. ''Okay I remove that.'' The other put his hands in the air.

''I like him.'' Natasha said. ''Can we keep him?''

''He's not a dog.'' Steve complained.

 

 

After a while explaining the whole story, and several threats involving knives, they went up to Tony's apartment. He was inherited from his mother, and the decor shouted ''TONY STARK''. Downstairs was a bedroom, a simple living room, a kitchen and a bathroom with a bathtub. It was the part of the house most used by Tony, because his friends generally used the upstairs. At the top, it had a balcony with a pool and a grill. It was where he had the sofa and the tv, as well as a pinball machine and another bedroom and a bathroom.

They ordered three boxes of pizza, and they were eating while watching Romeo and Cinderella on the sofa.

''I bet that Romeo will betray Juliet with Cinderella.'' Loki said.

''No, I think Cinderella will fall in love with Romeo while Romeo and Juliet starts to date, and Cinderella will be hurt.'' Tony said, eating one of the pieces of the pizza.

''What if Cinderella is the one to betray that guy with Romeo?'' Thor asked.

''I thought you were going to say that Cinderella will betray Romeo with Juliet.'' Clint commented.

''If so, the series would be called Juliet and Cinderella.'' Natasha drank the soda.

''They may have done so intentionally to think that Romeo and Cinderella will happen, when in fact the only true couple is Juliet and Cinderella.'' Thor's roommate said.

''Juliet is so decided on what she wants to do on her life.'' Thor's brother commented. ''I want to be like her.'' Clint turned his head to Loki.

''So, Loki, what are you going to do?'' He asked.

''I don't know.'' Loki sighed and leaned his arms on the back of the sofa. ''I will try to get a job related to veterinary. Make my own money.'' 

''The great journey of loki to gain his independence'' Nat spoke.

''Well, I'm going to the bathroom.'' Loki said, walking to the bathroom on his left.

''Your brother is... peculiar, Thor.'' The owner of the apartment spoke. The other sighed.

''I know but... he's my brother. And very good with a knife. I don't have other options besides helping him.'' He said as he settled down to the floor. Steve, Tony, Natasha and Clint were on the couch while the rest were sitting on the floor.

''Actually, you have one.'' Tony put his legs on top of Steve's legs. ''Do not help him.'' Steve removed Tony's legs, and Bruce shook his head disapprovingly.

''Loki needs a place to stay.'' Steve said, cleaning the leftover pizza. The five looked at Tony.

''No, there is no way Loki will stay here.'' The others groaned.

''Come on, Tony. You know nobody here has an extra room left, only you have.'' Bruce said, trying to convince his friend.

''Can't he just sleep on the streets?'' Natasha threw a piece of pizza on Tony's face. ''Fine. Fine. But if he blows up my apartment Thor will have to buy me a new one.''

''Have you ever had those dreams that you dream are falling?'' Clint asked.

''And when you're almost on the floor,  you wake up?'' Bruce asked. ''Everyone has these.''

''I dreamed that I was riding a bike, and that I was going to get run over, but I woke up just as the car was going to hit me.'' The deaf spoke. Loki then walked out of the bathroom, rearranging his clothes.

''Hey guys, fun history. I dreamed that I was driving a car, and a cyclist appeared in front of me, without thinking twice, I ran over him.'' Thor's younger brother spoke. Steve sighed.

''What a coincidence.'' He said, and Loki's phone began ringing. He quickly declined the call.

''How long will you ignore our father?''

''Until he gave up and decided to go to your apartment.'' The boy answered and Natasha got up.

''Well, I have a date to go now.'' She said, stretching.

''Do not forget to tell us the details about how you hanged him at the end of the date'' Bruce said, and the woman showed a sign of peace and love with her hand as she descended the stairs.

''So, Loki, what are you going to do during the day?'' Steve asked.

''Besides killing all my friends? Nothing, why?'' Tony gave a look of ''That was a horrible idea.''

''Me and Tony are going to watch a movie today, wanna come with us?'' The blonde asked.

''And be a candle in your date? No, thank you.''

''This is not a date.'' Tony said.

''Yeah, sure.'' Loki said, rolling his eyes. ''What games do you have?'' He asked, looking at Tony's ps4.

''Uuh, project diva arcade, god of war, horizon zero dawn, shadow of the colossus...'' Loki interrupted.

''Great. I'll play some Shadow Of The Colossus.'' He said, taking the control of the ps4 and turning on.

''Well, let's go, Tony. Or we will be late for the movie.'' Steve took Tony's wrist and led him down.

''So, Loki.'' Bruce called. ''Where are you going to sleep?''

''Here, I guess.'' He answered.

''Are you going to ask Tony?'' Thor asked.

''I need to ask?!''

 

 

Steve and Tony were leaving the theater. They had just seen a romantic cliche. It was their custom to see this kind of movie to complain about the movie after it was over, but in this case, Tony was complaining about Loki.

''Do you remember when we were in college and he pranked everyone? I remember when he was a freshman and he pranked the veterans before they could even do anything!'' Tony asked.

''Well, he earned the nickname of god of mischief for some reason.'' Steve said, sitting on the bench next to the movie theater.

''Is just that... Loki is too weird for my taste. And now I have to live with him because he somehow thought that leaving his home was the best thing to do.'' He put his hands on his legs. ''Maybe I can just not be back home today.''

''Look, Tony, I know that you don't like him. I don't like him that much too, but, he's on a sensitive situation. Don't you remember when you came out?'' His friends said. ''And also, you live just across the street.'' He poited to the apartment. ''I don't think you can give him a excuse.''

''Ok, fine.'' The black haired said. ''But, as soon as everything get solved and he have money, he will not be at my apartment anymore.'' They stood up, heading towars the building.

''Well, I have nothing against it.'' The blonde said. ''Unless he becomes a Rachel.''

''Who would be Ross?'' Tony asked. ''I mean, I don't think Loki is a dating guy, he looks more the guy that you just stay one night and that's it.''

''We are not going to discuss Thor's brother's love life, Tony.'' Steve pressed the elevator button.

''Well, I'm just thinking. Is not like I want something with him.'' The blonde raised his eyebrows, looking at his friend. ''At least not yet.'' Steve moaned. ''Oh come on Steve, you have to admit that Loki is kinda cute.''

''He ran away from home and you're thinking of kissing him?'' The elevator opened.

''No, I'm not! I'm just saying that he is cute.'' Tony took the keys to open the door.

''I bet that he will be at least sad because of what's happening.''

As soon as Tony opened the door, a scream was heard.

''THAT'S HOW IT FEELS, TAKE THAT YOUR LITTLE SHIT!'' 

''Crying, huh?'' Tony asked, looking at Steve. The other one rolled his eyes. They went up the stairs to find Loki playing Shadow of The Colossus. ''Hey Lokes, we're back.''

''Hi. She/her, please.'' The girl said. 

''Okay, I guess.'' Tony said. ''You're still playing this game?''

''Yes. I have just defeated the the sixth colossus.'' 

''The seventh one was my favorite.'' Steve said, picking some juice. ''Loki, where are you going to sleep?''

''Uuuh, Thor said I need to ask you, Tony, to sleep here.''

''Oh, you can sleep here. Just don't touch my things.'' He said.

''So how should I even walk if the apartment is yours?'' She asked. Steve put the cup in the sink.

''Well, I need to clean my apartment. I live in the front building, call me if Tony ends up almost killing you, Loki.'' Steve kissed Tony on the cheek and went down the stairs.

''So. You and Steve, huh.'' She started.

''Don't. Even. Start. It.'' Tony closed his eyes and pointed at the girl.

''Well, just don't become a Rachel and Ross 3.0'' She said.

''Why 3.0?'' He frowned.

''Because Robin and Ted are already Rachel and Ross 2.0'' Tony leaned on the pinball machine beside the sofa.

''Okay, look, Steve and I are just friends.''

''Well, don't tell me I didn't warned you.'' Loki said, turning off the ps4. ''I'll take a bath.'' She walked into her bags to get a towel and clean clothes.

And since that day, their days have never been just eating shawarma together.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> That was a shit ending, I know, but I'm horrible at this :(


End file.
